{"id":75382,"date":"2025-04-27T17:17:40","date_gmt":"2025-04-27T17:17:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/?p=75382"},"modified":"2025-04-27T17:17:42","modified_gmt":"2025-04-27T17:17:42","slug":"connection-with-marcy-axelrod","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/connection-with-marcy-axelrod\/","title":{"rendered":"AEE 2398: How to Choose Your Words for Connection with Marcy Axelrod"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Some words can dramatically increase our level of connection!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In today\u2019s episode, Lindsay interviews Marcy Axelrod.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She is the best-selling author of \u201cHow We Choose to Show Up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marcy challenges us to think beyond the mechanics of English.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She also shares the importance of understanding the impact and implications of our word choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-marcy-axelrod\"><strong>Marcy Axelrod<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Today&#8217;s guest is a best-selling and award-winning author, TV Contributor, two-time TEDx speaker and management consultant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Her latest book, \u201cHow We Choose to Show Up\u201d, is a #1 Amazon Bestseller, and was recently awarded the Hayakawa book prize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marcy has been interviewed in Forbes, Psychology Today, and The Marketing Journal, among other top media publications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-word-culture\"><strong>Word culture<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Lindsay brings up that we are now more conscious of our word culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marcy agrees with this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She has researched how choosing the right words can change the connection with other people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lindsay asks Marcy to share two ways we can bring people closer together through our word choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marcy points out that Lindsay used very interesting words to ask that question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lindsay used \u201ccan\u201d instead of \u201cdo\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She asked, \u201cHow can we bring people closer?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marcy continues to explain with an example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Using \u201ccan\u201d is saying how possible something is, rather than \u201cdo\u201d which implies a more collaborative effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Using \u201ccan\u201d talks about the ability to get something done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you use \u201cdo\u201d you take the approach of saying it can be done, and it needs to be done together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These slight changes make the sentence a much more inclusive flow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-use-the-right-words-for-stronger-connection\"><strong>Use the right words for stronger connection<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There are many scenarios that require the right words to be able to create better connections in conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marcy shares that subtle word switches can be impactful when used at the appropriate conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some of the examples that share how different word usage improves the way you can connect in a conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-can-versus-do\"><strong>#1: &#8220;Can&#8221; versus &#8220;do&#8221;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The first example is the difference between \u201ccan\u201d and \u201cdo\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cCan\u201d asks how is it possible. How is it permissible or permitted?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>This puts us in permission space, as opposed to an action space. It cedes our agency and power as sovereign thinkers and speakers by making something possible, but not necessarily a reality.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Marcy shares that the word \u201cdo\u201d is to perform the action, to achieve it, to complete it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is filled with empowerment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With the word \u201cdo\u201d, you are conveying that we are the designers of our experience together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The question \u201cHow CAN we do this?\u201d is about permission and possibilities, but not personal agency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-to-versus-with-or-for\"><strong>#2: &#8220;To&#8221; versus &#8220;with&#8221; or &#8220;for&#8221;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>A second example of how specific word choice brings us closer is the choice of showing up \u201cto\u201d versus showing up \u201cwith\u201d or \u201cfor\u201d something or someone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you use the word \u201cwith\u201d, it implies you\u2019re a team and you are encouraging them to join.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The word \u201cfor\u201d is more of showing an act of service.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You are working towards something together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It has a feeling of care and intention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As for the word \u201cto\u201d, this suggests you are separate from the rest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It can also imply that you\u2019re showing up to a thing or an object even if it\u2019s a human being you\u2019re referring to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It doesn\u2019t inherently have a sense of care, but it does mean that it is necessary for you to engage or take action on something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here is an example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Showing up to John\u2019s event<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Showing up for John\u2019s event<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>The first example doesn\u2019t sound like you care, but more that you\u2019re obligated to attend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of saying you\u2019re doing things \u2018to\u2019 others, it\u2019s better to say you\u2019re doing things \u2018for\u2019 or \u2018with\u2019 others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This language choice will <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/how-to-say-you-made-a-mistake-at-work\/\">build connection<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-human-brain-and-relationships\"><strong>The human brain and relationships<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>When having conversations with the goal of connection, you have to choose the right words to make it more meaningful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marcy shares that we have two parts of our brains that can be connected to the two ways we choose to communicate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our right hemisphere\u2019s care and connect system chooses to be \u201cwith and for.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our left hemisphere\u2019s narrow focus, not connected system, chooses to show up \u201cto\u201d people and situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The left side is about efficiency and getting things done, regardless of its broader meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It categorizes everything into broad groups, so people lose their individuality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This makes people objects and makes our days dull and disengaged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our emotions then select words and phrases consistent with this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we\u2019re just showing up, in get-it-done-mode, this is the system we\u2019re using.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s largely devoid of meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is showing up \u201cto\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-add-caring-for-connection\"><strong>Add caring for connection<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We must reset and tap into our caring, connected right hemisphere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We will then experience an expanded perspective and new ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We&#8217;ll feel a sense of one team, and choose ways of speaking, of standing, and even fixing our gaze into someone\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the attention system of connectedness and it brings a lexicon with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We no longer show up \u201cto\u201d, but we now show up \u201cwith\u201d and we show up \u201cfor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We listen more deeply, consider a broader set of perspectives, and interact as one team with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our orientation becomes one of contributing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re &#8220;in service of&#8221; something beyond our selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-takeaway\"><strong>Takeaway<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Language learning isn\u2019t about perfect grammar or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/english-grammar-from-a-textbook\/\">sounding like a textbook<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, it\u2019s about connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What we say matters, but how we choose our words matters even more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Words like \u201cdo\u201d instead of \u201ccan\u201d and &#8220;for&#8221; instead of &#8220;to&#8221; shift a conversation from distant to deeply human.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of chasing perfection, focus on presence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let your language reflect intention, care, and collaboration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Speak not just to people, but with and for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s where real understanding begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can check out Marcy\u2019s book and more about showing up can be found at <a href=\"http:\/\/ChooseToShowUp.com\">ChooseToShowUp.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-marcy-s-bio\"><strong>Marcy&#8217;s bio<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Marcy Axelrod is a bestselling and award-winning author, TV Contributor, 2X TEDx speaker and management consultant.\u00a0Her latest book, How We Choose to Show Up, is a #1 Amazon Bestseller, and was recently awarded the Hayakawa book prize.\u00a0Marcy has been interviewed in Forbes, Psychology Today, and The Marketing Journal, among other top media publications.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What do you think about today\u2019s episode?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>We\u2019d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some words can dramatically increase our level of connection! In today\u2019s episode, Lindsay interviews Marcy Axelrod. She is the best-selling author of \u201cHow We Choose to Show Up.\u201d Marcy challenges us to think beyond the mechanics of English. She also shares the importance of understanding&#8230; <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/connection-with-marcy-axelrod\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1023,"featured_media":75414,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"category":[1,315],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-75382","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-english-fluency","category-guest-episodes"],"acf":{"podcast_link":"https:\/\/www.podtrac.com\/pts\/redirect.mp3\/pdst.fm\/e\/claritaspod.com\/measure\/traffic.megaphone.fm\/ALLE1017636234.mp3?updated=1745614359"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.8 (Yoast SEO v25.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Choose Your Words for Connection with Marcy 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