{"id":73710,"date":"2024-07-17T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-07-17T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/?p=73710"},"modified":"2024-07-31T15:27:38","modified_gmt":"2024-07-31T15:27:38","slug":"de-escalate-in-english","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/de-escalate-in-english\/","title":{"rendered":"AEE 2236: Lighten Up! How to De-escalate in English"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you have any friends that get upset easily?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s tricky because what you say could cause someone to become more upset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In today\u2019s episode, you&#8217;ll get five key phrases to calm someone down in English.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We&#8217;ll share which phrases could make the situation worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Listen in for these vital tips!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"2236 - Lighten Up! How to De escalate in English\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/WRZAiv7b7B8?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-uncomfortable-situations\"><strong>Uncomfortable situations<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Michelle asks if Lindsay ever feels she needs to lighten up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lindsay answers that she can get very intense and passionate at times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When she gets to the point that she feels anxious, she tries to step back and lighten up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Michelle expresses that she feels the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Today, Lindsay and Michelle are going to talk about expressions you can use when someone is too intense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-lighten-up\"><strong>Lighten up!<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The phrase \u2018lighten up\u2019 can be used when someone is being too intense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Someone may be upset, anxious, or too rigid with their ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, you should avoid saying this to someone who is angry because it will likely make it worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They may be offended, especially if they are upset over something serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lindsay and Michelle will share other phrases you can use in these situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We will show you how to avoid sounding insensitive or out of touch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Check out episode <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VsJuwQWDU9U\">AEE 2223: Are You Thinking This is Tricky English Grammar?<\/a><\/strong> for more tips on how to navigate difficult conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-always-try-to-stay-calm\"><strong>Always try to stay calm<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There will be times when things get heated in a conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You or a friend might become overly intense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To soften the phrase \u2018lighten up\u2019, add \u2018try to\u2019 at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Saying \u2018try to lighten up\u2019 makes it sound a little less direct.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It also shows you understand the situation, which is why you\u2019re trying to suggest they take a step back for a moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Michelle asks Lindsay if it bothers her when someone tells her to lighten up when she\u2019s upset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-avoid-being-dismissive\"><strong>Avoid being dismissive<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Lindsay responds that &#8216;lighten up&#8217; can sound dismissive, so you have to be careful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Everyone wants their feelings acknowledged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When someone is venting about something, you can say \u2018lighten up\u2019 gently to make the situation less intense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Especially when the thing they are upset about shouldn\u2019t become a bigger problem than it already is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here is a quick roleplay as an example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>Lindsay: <\/strong>I just don\u2019t think they should be leaving that late. They will miss their flight.<br><strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Ah, Lindsay, try to lighten up a little. They should be fine leaving at that time, and if they aren\u2019t, hey! That\u2019s their problem!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Following are phrases you can use as an alternative to \u2018lighten up\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-relax\"><strong>#1: Relax<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This is similar to \u2018lighten up.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In movies, you can hear teenagers say this to their parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you use this, avoid saying it in the moment because it will just make things worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Wait for them to absorb what is happening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Why did she do that?!!? I\u2019m so annoyed.<br><strong>Lindsay: <\/strong>Try to relax Michelle. I don\u2019t think it was on purpose.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-calm-down\"><strong>#2: Calm down<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You must be careful not to use this if someone is in a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/frustrated-whats-the-difference\/\">heightened state of emotion<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the wrong thing to say when you want to de-escalate things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s best to not match the same intensity when you\u2019re saying this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You have to calmly say it to avoid sounding condescending.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>Lindsay:<\/strong> This is ridiculous!<br><strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I know, Lindsay, I know, but try to calm down and take a few deep breaths.<br><strong>Lindsay:<\/strong> Okay, you\u2019re right. It\u2019s not worth getting so upset.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-take-it-easy\"><strong>#3: Take it easy<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a good phrase to say paired with empathy in your voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You want to show that you care for them so they should not act rash and just take it easy <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/frustrated-whats-the-difference\/\">when they are feeling upset.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You want to notice the temperament and keep a cool head when the situation is charged with so many emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>keep a cool head<\/strong>: stay calm<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>Michelle:<\/strong> This isn\u2019t fair. I told her to get everything done by Tuesday.<br><strong>Lindsay:<\/strong> It\u2019s true. But just try to take it easy. It\u2019s all going to get figured out.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-roleplay\"><strong>Roleplay<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Here is a quick roleplay from Lindsay and Michelle using the phrases shared in today\u2019s episode.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this scenario, Michelle is very upset with her friend for forgetting to buy decorations for her party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a good way to see how to use the phrases in a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/how-to-agree-in-business-english\/\">real English conversation<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It\u2019s just&#8230; she always does this! She\u2019s so irresponsible.<br><strong>Lindsay:<\/strong> I know, I know. But just try to relax.<br><strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I\u2019m just so annoyed.<br><strong>Lindsay:<\/strong> Just try to take it easy. Let\u2019s get some water.<br><strong>Michelle:<\/strong> This is ridiculous.<br><strong>Lindsay:<\/strong> Ok let\u2019s just lighten up a bit. It\u2019s not that bad. I can help.<br><strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Ugh!<br><strong>Lindsay: <\/strong>Michelle, try to calm down.<br><strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Okay fine. Let\u2019s take a break.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-takeaway\"><strong>Takeaway<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s always best to try to de-escalate an emotional situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, you have to use these phrases at the right time or you will make things worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be sure to empathize when you use today&#8217;s phrases, since <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/aee-968-lets-face-it-you-need-help-remembering-names-in-english\/\">you don\u2019t want to sound condescending or dismissive.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Especially when situations become difficult and heated, it&#8217;s vital to be careful with the words you choose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you encounter a moment that requires you to be the cooler head in the conversation, try one of these phrases.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Have you ever been in a heated conversation where you had to calm down?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Share in the comments how you de-escalated the situation.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:46px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you have any friends that get upset easily? It&#8217;s tricky because what you say could cause someone to become more upset. In today\u2019s episode, you&#8217;ll get five key phrases to calm someone down in English. We&#8217;ll share which phrases could make the situation worse&#8230;. <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/de-escalate-in-english\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1024,"featured_media":73871,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"category":[290,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-73710","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-speaking-conversation","category-english-fluency"],"acf":{"podcast_link":"https:\/\/www.podtrac.com\/pts\/redirect.mp3\/pdst.fm\/e\/claritaspod.com\/measure\/chrt.fm\/track\/CB27B5\/traffic.megaphone.fm\/ALLE4128838052.mp3?updated=1719956362"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.8 (Yoast SEO v25.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Lighten Up! 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Today learn native phrases and how to avoid making the problem worse.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/de-escalate-in-english\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/allearsenglish\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-07-17T06:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-07-31T15:27:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/AEE-2236-Lighten-Up-How-to-De-escalate-in-English.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"640\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"480\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Aubrey Carter\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@allearsenglish\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@allearsenglish\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Aubrey Carter\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/de-escalate-in-english\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/de-escalate-in-english\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Aubrey Carter\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/#\/schema\/person\/f4451ee48eefe8bf20b5262b9f6298e4\"},\"headline\":\"AEE 2236: Lighten Up! 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