{"id":51825,"date":"2017-08-11T12:12:01","date_gmt":"2017-08-11T12:12:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/127.0.0.1\/aee\/sample-feedback-ielts-writing-task-2\/"},"modified":"2022-03-18T16:07:22","modified_gmt":"2022-03-18T16:07:22","slug":"sample-feedback-ielts-writing-task-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/sample-feedback-ielts-writing-task-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Sample Feedback on IELTS Writing Task 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>IELTS Task 2 Question:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>Many parents today are allowing their children access to laptops, tablets and\/or smartphones every day. Some feel that there should be stricter limits put on this screen time. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Here is an essay written by a student:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Smartphones became essential belongings in our lives. And PC or portable computer, like tablet, are familiar devices in school these days.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cThese devices are wonderful.\u201d Some moms and dads would say. One big reason why they love is kids become quiet when they are using it. Most children do games on screen. Games are creative now so kids love. Parents can do their work while their little ones concentrate on screens.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>But recently there are unhappy researches. They noticed a side affect of using screen devices. Specialists alert us to let kids allowed using devices without rules.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The research said mainly two things. First is Cyber crime. Young kids are unfortunately easily involved in crime through the Internet. The second thing is addiction. Addiction leads a lack of real communication. Attachment, Love can only get from parents or other caregivers and between people\u2019s real eye to eye communication. Even the game on the screen is focused on communication and socialization, it is not enough.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>We are in technology world and can not close our eyes and turn our back. But we can use these devices in safe. I would like to set two rules. I am a boy\u2019s mom and my son likes playing games on tablet. We discussed and set a time rule. He can play thirty minutes a day and not at night. The another rule is a place. I do not allow him to switch on tablets in his bedroom. He plays in the same room with me like living room. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>We can live happily with a \u201cdigital magical notebook\u201d, if we think before turn on.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h2><strong>100% Score Increase Guarantee with our Insider Method<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/keys\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-8372\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/3-Keys-IELTS-Box-Shot-900px-OPTIMIZED-FOR-WEB-smaller-version-1-300x293.png?099694&amp;x42944&amp;d7aa6c&amp;1f7936&amp;25f8f9&amp;25f8f9&amp;71275d\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/3-Keys-IELTS-Box-Shot-900px-OPTIMIZED-FOR-WEB-smaller-version-1-300x293.png 300w, https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/3-Keys-IELTS-Box-Shot-900px-OPTIMIZED-FOR-WEB-smaller-version-1.png 440w\" alt=\"3 Keys IELTS course\" width=\"300\" height=\"293\"><\/a><strong>Are you ready to move past IELTS and move forward with your life vision?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Find out why our strategies are the most powerful in the IELTS world.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>When you use our Insider Method you avoid the BIGGEST MISTAKES that most students make on IELTS.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/keys\">Click here to get a score increase on IELTS. It\u2019s 100% guaranteed.<\/a><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Task Response:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"\/ielts\/ielts-energy-370-more-words-ielts-writing\/\">Length is appropriate, at 269 words<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Ideas are connected to topic, but could be <a href=\"\/ielts\/ielts-writing-task-2-examples-coming-up-with-strong-support-tips\/\">better supported with more details<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"\/ielts\/put-opinion-ielts-writing-task-2\/\">The opinion is clear.<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Cohesion\/Coherence:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>There appear to be 6 paragraphs. There should only be <strong>4 paragraphs<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"\/ielts\/ielts-energy-329-must-haves-ielts-task-2-introduction\/\">The introduction<\/a> only has 2 sentences and the <strong>conclusion<\/strong> only has 1 sentence. There should be <strong>at least 3 sentences in a paragraph<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<li>There are few <a href=\"\/ielts\/ielts-energy-424-8-linking-phrases-ielts-writing-task-2\/\">linking words \/ transition words<\/a> used.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Vocabulary:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Some informal words are used, like \u201ckids\u201d. All <a href=\"\/ielts\/8-ielts-academic-technology-vocabulary\/\">words should be formal and academic<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Incorrect collocation, such as \u201cdo games\u201d. That should be \u201cplay games\u201d.<\/li>\n<li>Easy words are used, such as \u201cunhappy\u201d. <a href=\"\/ielts\/cant-use-academic-words-ielts-writing-speaking\/\">More advanced vocabulary<\/a> should be used, such as \u201c<strong>ominous<\/strong>\u201c.<\/li>\n<li>Vocabulary <strong>repetition<\/strong>\u2013 such as \u201crule\u201d. There <a href=\"\/ielts\/video-stop-repeating-vocabulary-ielts-speaking-writing\/\">should be more paraphrasing<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Grammar:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cResearch\u201d is <strong>uncountable<\/strong>, so \u201cresearches\u201d is wrong.<\/li>\n<li>More than one sentence is begun with a <strong>conjunction<\/strong>, \u201cbut\u201d. Conjunctions should only be used in the <strong>middle<\/strong>, to link two independent clauses.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>What are your comments on today\u2019s essay?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Share your feedback in the comments section below!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>IELTS Task 2 Question: Many parents today are allowing their children access to laptops, tablets and\/or smartphones every day. Some feel that there should be stricter limits put on this screen time. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. Here is an essay written&#8230; <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/sample-feedback-ielts-writing-task-2\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":61879,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"category":[274],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-51825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ielts"],"acf":{"podcast_link":".mp3"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.8 (Yoast SEO v25.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sample Feedback on IELTS Writing Task 2 | All Ears English Podcast<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.allearsenglish.com\/sample-feedback-ielts-writing-task-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sample Feedback on IELTS Writing Task 2\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"IELTS Task 2 Question: Many parents today are allowing their children access to laptops, tablets and\/or smartphones every day. 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